(My IRL Update)
Happy New Year Everyone!
It’s great to be starting fresh again and I hope there is more potential for a phenomenal year than the train wreck that was 2020. These last 6 months have probably been my hardest times in recent memory. I never thought I would feel like I did during those months. Hopeless comes to mind mostly, but it was a journey I needed to take. The first 4 months was a lot of anger and frustration. Losing a dream job and a 5 year home was very hard to accept. Searching for a job that fit me as much as I fit it was also a very frustrating time. I did not want to settle for a bare minimum job anymore, so it took longer for me to find one. I wasn’t vocal about my feelings regarding Mixer too much on social because it wouldn’t mean anything if I didn’t actually try to move forward. I pushed down a great deal of those feelings in myself. The last 2 months of this year was my time of getting back into a groove and I’ll expand more on this later in this post. Overall, these months have been a misty fog that has started to clear up as the year ended. I am extremely happy to bring new and great updates for the New Year to you guys.
First, Streaming! As of right now, I will be taking a full year away from content creation as a whole. I have done this before under better circumstances, but this move is meant for my own focus and time to stabilize in my life. Everyone knows I love streaming and sharing my playthroughs to my community. In recent years, my content creation has probably become the best it has ever been. I know what kind of streamer and gamer I am. I have tested this over many years, but the first 6 months of 2020 and my time as a content creator was never more satisfying. I will be sure to retain that same feeling when I return. However, even though streaming is a hobby, it is very mentally draining and I will need that energy for my job and IRL to thrive over this coming year. I will 100% be playing games off stream and do my best not to worry about the “Missing First Impressions” feeling, but I can’t hold back my own fun because of entertaining others. I will still be active on Twitch and my Discord, and I may do little discord streams from time to time, but full streaming is going to be shelved, so I can become a better me in the long run. ^_^
Next, Social Media! Taking social media away from myself was probably the single best choice for my mental state. Even though I was very down during my first 4 months after Mixer, I know keeping social media off my phone and computer for those 6 months together was so relieving to me. I was able to get other things done without the craziness of the “Next Big Issue” that was sweeping the internet. I didn't worry about spoilers appearing on my phone or was spammed with ads of other people’s accounts I didn’t follow. I will say this that I plan to do a purge of accounts I follow mainly because I want my social media to be accounts I am either extremely interested in what they have to say or friends I keep in touch with on a regular basis. I can’t keep in contact with everyone and having a more curated list of those I follow is healthier in the long run. If you have been wanting to unfollow me, I do not hold any bad feelings whatsoever on the matter. ^_^ Also, shoutout to Skirtzzz for doing this herself and inspiring me to do the same. I won’t be disappearing from social media, but I will be using them less than I have in the last few years.
Okay, time for the better updates I’ve been wanting to share. If you haven’t seen the most recent post on Twitter, I did finally land a job. Now, I am sure many of you want to know what that job is, but I will not be sharing that information. I will say it is not a job in the gaming industry. I have found that keeping my IRL and Internet Life separate will allow me to be more free on how I am on social. When you work for a gaming company or you are in the gaming industry in general, you tend to hold back more over being genuine on how you feel about certain products (that is coming from a content creators perspective). So, this is kind of my first step in separating these parts of my life, so I can be even more real with you when I give reviews on games I play. I will not have to hold back based on any connections work-wise. I am very excited to start my new job in February!
Health Update! I am down 30lbs since November. I had gained some weight when I was streaming from 2019 to 2020 and I needed to get refocused on that. Luckily, my dad wanted to do the same and we have been on the plan doing really great! I am 9lbs away from my overall goal, and then I will be focusing on maintenance through 2021. If 2018 was the year I finally lost all my weight, 2021 will be the year I stabilize myself to maintain it for a longer period of time.
My Goals/Resolutions for 2021, I am not gonna lie, I really haven’t thought of them until I started typing this out. Each year I’ve strived to better myself with small goals over grand ones. 2020 I did change that up by doing more, but that kind of flopped. I would say my main goal is Stability. I want to feel comfortable/confident in myself and where I am in my career. My secondary goal would be Health. I would like to not just maintain my weight, but be stronger and gain muscle. This will probably be one of my hardest changes second to losing the weight itself. My third and final goal is to be patient with buying new stuff (aka new games). I already started this trend because I wanted to save money, but now I am going further. If I do not plan to play the game day one, it is not a day one buy for me. Sales are what I should focus on when it comes to games I am interested in, but not playing day one. This is a hard one cuz FOMO SUCKS, but I will try my best. So, Goals of 2021, Stability, Health, Financial Management!
If you made it this far, thank you very much for reading this post. I appreciate each and every one of you. Also, thank you to those who support me even now being away from streaming. I could not be more thankful. I am surrounded by so many generous souls and its hard to keep it together when I feel like I am a burden to them. So, I just want them to know I love them dearly and could not ask for better friends. To those who constantly message my DMs to check in on me, you are the real heroes we need each day. ❤
2021 will be a great year and I plan to make the most of it! Have a safe New Years and I will see you around. Much Love Guys! ❤
P.S. In no particular order, my top 10 games I played in 2020 were Zelda: BOTW, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, Genshin Impact, Final Fantasy 7 Remake, Bloodborne, Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, Animal Crossing, The Last of Us Part 2, God of War (2018), and Ghost of Tsushima.